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Don’t tell me you haven’t thought of it before. You’re watching The Bourne Identity/ Total Recall/Die Hard/Batman/The Avengers, and the action hero (or heroes, in the case of The Avengers) embarks on a huge car chase/helicopter fight/gigantic fight with the big bad, and they totally demolish… well… everything. Cars, buildings, the occasional passers-by (I swear, the periphery body count in Total Recall was seriously tragic. All I could think is “aw, that poor guard!” I mean, there’s a difference between characters actively trying to end the world and characters who are just accepting a paycheck).

Don’t tell me you’ve never wondered how all those people explain the damage to their insurance companies. “Oh, I’m sorry, but my car was completely decimated because some dude went on a rager in a Mini Cooper down the streets of Zurich because he was simply trying to find his true identity.” Maybe Swiss insurance companies are more lenient, but how would they categorize that in the States? Act of God?

I love Jason Bourne. I love John McClane. My adoration for each and every member of the Avengers reaches epic, slightly unhealthy proportions. But come on. Who’s the sad sap stuck with the clean up?