There are only five things you need to know about Inception. Ready? Here goes: right off the bat I should say that it’s not a re-make, a re-do, a re-imagining or an adaptation. Of all the movies that came out this year I can count on one hand how many originals there are. There’s Inception, and there’s… um… moving on!

Number two is the cast list. Like all little girls from the 90’s, I loved Leonardo DiCaprio since he set foot on the Titanic, so if I have to give you his filmography, we are no longer friends. Ellen Page rocked pregnancy in Juno, made everyone wish they had a pair of roller skates in Whip It, and… well, she did the best with what she was given in X-Men 3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt starred in 3rd Rock From the Sun and !0 Things I Hate About You, took ten years off and returned with a bang for (500) Days of Summer and Inception, impressing everyone with how foxy he looks in three-piece suits and showcasing his ability to finally choose a movie without a number in the title.

Not to mention Oscar winner Marion Cotillard; my new favorite Irishman, Cillian Murphy and Ken Wanatabe from Batman Begins. Plus, Michael Caine showed up in a couple of scenes, officially making Christopher Nolan the new Tim Burton. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Number three on my extremely official list: the special effects. I don’t want to know how much time it took to produce even half the special effects in this film, because I’m pretty sure my mind would explode. That being said, I have two words for you: Shifting. Gravity. Yeah. Get excited. Not to mention the dream construction that lives in the background of the entire movie. That’s right: Christopher Nolan is so awesome he can have epic special effects and stick them in the background, because that’s not what’s keeping the audience captivated. What’s keeping them captivated is number four: the writing.

So, I’m a writer, and I just have to say it can be really hard to create eight (trust me, I counted) distinct main characters in addition to a ridiculously complicated story-line. I’m talking a story-line so awesome, so complex, that you will literally HAVE to see this movie twice just so that you can remind yourself how spectacular this film is. And the best part is that Nolan was able to do all this and more without confusing me! And I’m the kind of person who mixes up characters if there are too many blondes, so that’s saying something.

So… what kind of movie is Inception? It’s not really a family movie, mostly because of the length and the complexity. It is, however, a good date movie. I suggest catching an early showing and grabbing dinner after instead of before, so you’ll have a captive audience to bounce theories off of. And trust me, you will have theories.

But the real question is, should you pay twelve bucks to see Inception? Am I allowed to say “hell yes” on the air? No? Well then heck yes you should! I would even shell out the fifteen bucks to see it on IMAX. Twice. That’s how amazing this movie is. I haven’t been willing to pay 30 bucks to see a movie since the sixth Harry Potter film. And that wasn’t even because the movie was particularly good! I’m just a Harry Potter junkie.

So turn off the TV, hop the train to the closest movie theater and go see this movie. And don’t forget to join the hordes of people on social networking sites who are gushing about it. Because eighteen status updates about one topic only serves one purpose: to make the people who don’t understand the reference feel like an idiot. And it’s always fun to make someone feel like an idiot.