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Laura e. Crook

~ writer by day, batgirl wannabe by night

Laura e. Crook

Tag Archives: Ramen

Five Things Friday: Addresses and Memories

31 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by Laura Crook in Blog

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Five Things Friday, Ramen

For this week’s Five Things Friday, I’m reposting a piece I wrote for Ramen, the lovely Caro’s zine. Enjoy!

5) Salem Street.
When I was five, my Dad joined the ranks of legend when he and I made homemade maple syrup. I got to pretend that I was Laura Ingalls Wilder when my dad drilled a hole in our maple tree and let the thin, clear, sweet sap fall into an empty milk jug. Dad poured the sap into a saucepan on our stove and heated it slowly. When the sap got thick and dark, my Dad poured it off into mason jars. The entire house smelled like crystallizing sugar.

4) Pleasant Street.
The day my family moved into the house on Pleasant Street was the day I met my best friend. I was in my new bedroom with my aunts, helping them organize my things. My mom called me to the staircase. When I poked my head over the railing, I saw an unfamiliar girl. She introduced herself as Liz, said she lived across the street and asked if I liked the movie Titanic. I said yes, because it was 1997 and Leonardo DiCaprio was all I could think about. In the simple way of nine-year-olds, we became best friends immediately.

3) Plymouth Court.
One night, toward the end of freshman year, my roommate (my 9 year-old bff Liz, who grew up to become Elspeth) and I came home to find the TV was missing from the dorm. It wasn’t stolen–it was just taken by our other two roommates, the girls assigned to us by residence life. The cold war that had been brewing all year came to a boil, but we didn’t let it bother us. We spent the night playing rowdy summer camp games and watching movies on our laptops.

2) Wells Street.
When I moved onto Wells Street, one of my roommates was an eight year-old sheepdog named Ellie. Like many sheepdogs, she didn’t have a tail, but that didn’t stop her from wagging her butt whenever I came home. She was the sweetest, friendliest, fattest dog I’ve ever met, and I loved her. She always met me at the front door–butt wiggling, ears perked up at the sound of my voice. It was the best mood lifter.

1) Alameda Avenue.
My roommate decided to make cupcakes. I wanted to make a dent in a bottle of whiskey. Together we learned that there are few things more enjoyable than tipsy baking. It’s easiest to use a boxed recipe (less margin for error). We drank, we frosted cupcakes, we found increasingly ridiculous things to put on top of them and we laughed about our teachers. I’d been in LA for three weeks, but this was the first time it felt like home.

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Five Things Friday: Five Disney characters you never realized were total bitches

08 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by Laura Crook in Blog

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Five Things Friday, Ramen

For this week’s Five Things Friday, I’m reposting a piece I wrote for Ramen, the lovely Caro’s zine. Enjoy!

5) Aunt Sarah – Lady and the Tramp
Crimes against humanity: She put Lady in a muzzle!

I don’t care that she sent a box of dog biscuits to Lady and Tramp at the end of the movie. The only thing I care about is that she believed the worst about Lady and put her in a muzzle. And I use the word muzzle pretty loosely–what Sarah used was more like some weird snout-cage attached to a leash. I’m all for cat ladies, but cat ladies that are antagonistic toward dogs don’t get much sympathy from this camp.

She is literally seconds away from animated conflagration.

4) The Feather Duster – Beauty and the Beast
Crimes against humanity: Snotty, French

Let’s face it. The Feather Duster was a total tease! Lumière deserved so much better than a flighty maid in a fetish outfit. Besides, if they hadn’t been turned back into humans, how long would their relationship last? She’s a feather duster and he spontaneously bursts into flames.

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Five Things Friday: Five (real) eulogies for five (fictional) characters

01 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by Laura Crook in Blog

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book: harry potter, book: the hunger games, Five Things Friday, Ramen, tv: buffy

For this week’s Five Things Friday, I’m reposting a piece I wrote for Ramen, the lovely Caro’s zine. Enjoy!

5) Tara McClay – Buffy the Vampire Slayer
You know what? I just really hate Kennedy. If Oz is going to go off and be a werewolf in Tibet or something, then there’s only one person I want to give Willow sweet lovin’, and she’s not a bratty, brunette vampire slayer.

4) Denny Duquette – Grey’s Anatomy
When you’ve watched nearly every character played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan die, you start to think “who did he piss off?” And you laugh, because he’s basically a poor man’s Sean Bean. Then Izzie walks into his hospital room, dressed for the prom, and it’s not funny anymore. Suddenly he’s not Jeffrey Dean Morgan, he’s Denny. Denny, who played dirty Scrabble and flirted with Izzie and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him, only he spent the rest of his life with her instead.

3) Primrose Everdeen – The Hunger Games
The greatest tragedy of Prim’s death is that she was only thirteen. That she was blown up in an accident caused by a man she had known her entire life. That she died while her sister watched. Or maybe the greatest tragedy of all was that Prim never knew a world outside of the totalitarian regime under which she was raised. She never knew a life without fear, without violence, without the Hunger Games. She never got a chance to grow up. Become a doctor. Fall in love. She was a pointless sacrifice in a bloody war.

2) Fred Weasley – Harry Potter
I have long believed that it’s a sin to kill a sibling, but it’s even worse to kill a twin. When Fred died, half of George died with him. The half that laughed, that invented magical candy, that schemed and plotted and played Quidditch. And what’s left? Just a broken, scarred man remembering a distant time when his life made sense. Perhaps it would have been kinder to let George die alongside his brother in the final battle, because his world ended that night anyway.

1) Remus Lupin – Harry Potter
There comes a moment when you’re crying and someone asks you why, so you tell them that Remus Lupin died. They look at you strangely, because you’ve had four years to mourn, but four years will never be enough. Sometimes you wish J. K. Rowling killed Arthur Weasley in “Order of the Phoenix,” but only if it means that Lupin and Tonks would survive, and raise their son, and go to Sunday dinners at the Potter’s. Maybe someday Lupin would go back to teaching. Maybe someday they’d have another son (and name him Sirius), and he’d get Sorted into Gryffindor (or Hufflepuff). Then, finally, when Remus is old and even more grey, he would become the only Marauder to die at a ripe old age. Because his life was filled with too much tragedy to die at 38.

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