is not a strictly accurate statement.

For one thing, it wasn’t really Batman–it was a Batman impersonator on Hollywood Boulevard. For another, he didn’t grab my ass or anything.

He did, however, slowly rub his hand up and down the small of my back. And when I say “slowly,” I mean slowly. Glacier-like. Deliberately. So slowly it literally took him two minutes to rub me up and down my back. My back? It’s not that big.

I don’t have a picture (because do you really think we’d give him a dollar to take a picture with him after he touched me semi-inappropriately? I mean there’s a lot I can forgive BATMAN for, but a Batman impersonator gets a LOT less leeway).

All I have is the hilarious (and kind of sketchy) memory of the light, slow progression of his hand up my back.

(Shudder)